


Ta'veren no longer

by HockeyShit



Category: Wheel of Time - Robert Jordan
Genre: Lan as a dad, Lan as a mentor, Not Beta Read, also Lan and Rand as friends, also this is my first WOT fic be nice, just Lan guys I love him, that's really what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21665317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HockeyShit/pseuds/HockeyShit
Summary: An old friend shows up on Lan's front step. An old friend Lan thought he would never see again.  Lan was told that Ta'veren stopped being Ta'veren once the pattern was done with them.  What then explains how Lan's whole thought process is changed overnight if not Ta'veren being Ta'Veren
Relationships: Nynaeve al'Meara/Lan Mandragoran
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	Ta'veren no longer

Lan always seemed to find himself on the traveling ground when he needed a walk but wouldn’t leave the walls of Malkier. It was foolish to feel safe here, on the edge of the blight, perhaps they were  _ in _ the blight, the signs could crop up even in the Malkier gardens. The walls surrounding the traveling ground were as safe as about anywhere else, and there was much to see here. He’d been a warder for more than half of his life by now, and he had never gotten used to the one power. And now, now the power was practiced even more openly than it had been when Lan first became a warder, gateways were only part of that. 

Holding Malkier, Lan thought, would not have been possible without the gateways, not holding it meaningfully anyway. The land nearby could be farmed, though not nearly enough to sustain a fortress like the seven towers. So they traded, by some light given miracle Malkier became the capital of power forged weapons. They did not give them to just anyone, but a blade master was more than welcome to one if he could pay the price. It was not just food they were lacking, but the gateways, they made it possible to hold this land on the edge of the blight. 

Lan was thinking about how it unsettled him that he should have to rely on these gateways to hold his land, that he needed the use of the one power to make his position a viable position. When a commotion on the traveling grounds had his hand on his sword running down the steps. He watched as a man, as tall as he stumbled through a gateway, then collapse to his knees. Lan only briefly saw the man’s face, but it was enough, he took his hand from his sword ran to help prop the man up. 

“Go, tell my wife her services will be needed.” Lan stood up, Nynaeve had adjusted to life as a queen near seamlessly, despite how much she complained. Motherhood suited her as well, Lan could almost let himself get lost in that thought if not the broad-shouldered man who had nearly his whole weight against Lan.

Lan thought as he turned a corner, that he should not take this man to his private chambers. He’d had his suspicions, the way the Dragon’s three women had acted after his death, the disappearance of the forsaken. He should not risk his wife, his children on this hunch, he should not risk brining one of the forsaken into his home, this close to the blight- 

“You were right Lan, it really is light as a feather.” 

“You’re not dying today sheepherder, tell me, before your last battle, what did you give me?” 

Rand, it had to be Rand, Light let it be Rand, smiled, aside from collapsing Lan did not see anything wrong with the man. He laid him in his and Nynaeve’s bed, he hoped that she was coming soon. 

“A crown in the likeness of the kings of Malkier, a poor copy but the best I could do, one for you, one for Nynaeve.” He spoke carefully like every word was important like each could be his last  _ where was Nynaeve _ . 

“And when I found you in the stone, bloodied from a bout with a bubble of evil what did I ask you?” The man was dying in front of Lan, he should not keep pressing, he should let Rand rest until Nynaeve showed up but he could not help but continue pressing. His Sons only one old enough to wield a sword could come running down the hallway at any moment. His daughter was likely to poke her head into the room looking for him or Nynaeve. He could not risk his family if this was one of the forsaken. 

“A joke about needing help to shave.” and Lan nodded, there was more he could ask, more that would help prove this man was Rand, but he would let Nynaeve handle him as soon as she was here, he knew that time was not passing as slow as it felt, that he was simply anxious. For once he did not feed his emotions to the flame, he did not let his emotions consume him, but this, if this was Rand, and if he truly was going to die, he deserved Lan’s emotion. 

“Lan, what in the world- Why is one of the forsaken in our bed?” Rand laughed at that, Lan smiled as well, but before he could answer Rand was speaking. 

“This is your room Lan? I could not ever have imagined you living in such luxury.” Lan had to laugh at that, if this was Rand dying, he was doing a marvelous job. 

“Lan!” Lan felt Nynaeve’s anxiety spike in the back of his head. Though she wore perfect Aes Sedai calm, something Lan would not have believed possible for her when they had just met. 

“He’s Rand.” 

That broke the perfect facade she opened her mouth, likely to ask as many if not more questions than Lan had, but the boy, Lan wasn’t sure he could ever think of him as anything but a boy, was dying, Lan was sure of it now. 

“I swear Nynaeve, it’s Rand, He’s answered my questions, he’s dying he needs your help,  _ please _ .” He tried not to sound as urgent as he felt, it wasn’t important, she would feel it anyways. 

Lan watched as Nynaeve walked to the bed, he would think it was a precaution, but he could feel, she was overcome with emotion, Lan could not blame her, the boy she had known when he  _ had _ been a boy, the boy she watched grow up and save the world, had died, she had made her peace with it. But now, here he was again. 

“Will- Will you accept healing Rand?” 

Rand nodded, Lan would have sworn he saw the light going out of Rand’s eyes that he was truly dying. But then Nynaeve had her hands on his head. 

She was exhausted when she finished, Lan could feel it through the bond but he had no need of that, he could see it, the way she knelt by his bed head on the bed hands falling from Rand’s head. 

“He will be okay, he was poisoned I don’t-” 

Lan leaned down to scoop her up, but where would he take her? Perhaps it was not proper, and perhaps, there was still the chance this man was not Rand, still, he laid Nynaeve on the other side of the bed. 

“Shhh rest now, both of you.” 

His daughter did come looking for Nynaeve, five years old she was one of the most precious things in Lan’s life. Lan did not like the idea of leaving the bedside, he had sent for food, both would be starving when they woke, both needed more food than they would admit in order to regain their strength. But he stood, and walked to the other side of the room, he did not want to explain why a man other than Lan was in he and Nynaeve’s bed, likely she would ask her brothers. 

“Do you know where Mother is?” It was not uncommon for women in the borderlands to take up the sword, Lan knew his sons both would, but Egwene? He did not know what he would do if she wanted to as well. Give her a sword he supposed. 

“Your mother had to use a lot of the one power to heal an old friend, she is resting, is it something I could help you with?” Egwene’s face fell and she shook her head slightly. Even kneeling down on one knee to face Egwene as he was now, he had to look down at her. She was short for her age, Nynaeve might have been on to something when she suggested naming the girl Moiraine. 

“Is everything okay?” 

“Matrim he, he tripped, and hurt his ankle.” Lan could not help but smile, he was sure the younger of his sons had sent his daughter to ask almost sure that the young girl would be able to get his wife to heal him. They didn’t often let their children heal their hurts with the one power, better they learn to walk without tripping, to think about the consequences because one day they would not have access to the one Power. 

“Is he in danger?” Lan almost certainly knew the answer. His younger son was just coming into himself, learning how to walk with his gangly limbs, this was not the first time he had tripped and hurt himself, it would not be the last. Sometimes it took Nynaeve to calm him down. Bulen was as natural a swordsman as a father could want, it could be hard to remind himself that his other son, just ten, was working hard, he would get it eventually. 

“No.” Perhaps a child from the south would see it differently, but Lan knew his children must grow up to be hard as he had, that one day it would be their duty to fight the blight, fight the shadow. They all knew a twisted ankle was no danger, it would heal. 

“Then tell him he must go get his ankle set, his mother will come to see him when she can, but she will not be using the one power.” Egwene nodded, her curls bouncing. Where those had come from Lan did not know, they suited her though. 

“What did Matrim get himself into now?” Lan’s head snapped around to see Nynaeve sitting propped up against the headboard, she was smiling softly, how could anyone do anything but smile at Egwene? 

“Bulen was teaching him sword forms.” Lan’s face fell int a frown, they both knew they should not be doing that, not without supervision. “They were doing rose unfolds and Mat lost his balance.” Lan frowned more, what was Bulen doing teaching Matrim that sword form? 

“I can go see him, Lan, please watch our visitor.” Lan wanted to protest, he knew Nynaeve was still exhausted, he could  _ feel it _ . But they were in private and a queen ruled over a king in private according to their wedding vows, but then a warder ought to rule over his Aes Sadei in private, were they in private? Egwene was right there. Lan shook his head, and let his wife go, vows or no Nynaeve was his wife, that meant more than any of their titles when it came to who was going to get their way. 

When the door shut Lan walked back to his vigil over Rand, he was just sitting down when Rand spoke up. 

“You named your son after Mat?” there was amusement in his voice. Lan wished the food would hurry, Rand would need his strength more than even Nynaeve if he was to heal truly. 

“They took his name, and we thought- well Perrin doesn’t seem like the kind of man who would want a child named after him and you- how many Rands are running about the world right now? It seemed right.” Rand nodded, and Lan wondered if the boy wanted children named after him.

“Your daughter, her name?” Lan wondered how much Rand had cut himself off from the world. He had children of his own, A son and a Daughter, the heir to the Lion throne and First Prince of the Sword. There were the Aiel children as well. Did he not go see them? Did his wives not tell him what Lan and Nynaeve were up to? Did the man not see Mat or Perrin? Had he seen his father before he died? Lan could not help but wonder what Rand had been up to, that he would not know the daughter of Malkier’s name.

“Egwene.” Something in Rand’s face changed, perhaps, despite all these years, those were memories best not brought up. Rand, despite trying to be a man as hard as the borderlanders, had never learned to celebrate the lives of those lost in battle. He still mourned them. But Lan had insisted on the name, a way of celebrating the young girl Lan had hardly known, she, perhaps more than anyone turned the battle.

“Then do not be surprised if she grows up and wants a sword in her hand.” That was something Nynaeve had said too when Lan came to her worried that his daughter might want that future. Egwene had been a fighter, Nynaeve had said the child would have chosen the Green Ajah had she not been raised to Amyriln before she could choose.

“She is five still, the time for swords is long off.” 

Rand raised an eyebrow at that, Lan would have thought it was hard to see this new body as Rand, but there was something that felt right about it, this truly was Rand, Lan could not explain how he knew.

It was then that finally food was brought in. It was more than enough for Rand and Nynaeve, or so Lan had thought, but soon Rand had devoured it all, he  _ was _ still a boy it seemed. Wolfing the food down. 

“Why did you come here?” Lan asked as Rand set the tray aside. 

“I thought, I did not think about being healed, I hardly think about the one power anymore, but my father is dead, I had been trying to visit Mat, I thought finally now was a time to tell my friends. The Seachan poisoned me, it is awfully impolite to call him Mat anymore and-” Something flashed over Rand’s face, perhaps he was more scared of death than he had ever let on. “And when I felt I only had enough time to tell one person, maybe it’s foolish, but you and Nynaeve, you two took care of me when I was the dragon reborn, Each in your own way.” 

Lan nodded, he had felt much the same way about Rand, the other two boys as well but Rand more than either. They were more similar than he thought Rand had known, destined for death, destined for an impossible task, and somehow they had both made it. To be sure Lan was still fighting the shadow, but it was not like it had been when he was younger. Nothing at all like that. And Rand,- 

“I did not think I would ever have children of my own.” Lan would not meet Rand’s eyes, instead looking out the window, one of the only windows that was not simply an arrow slit. “You, I taught you the sword because you needed it, but also because I did not think I would ever teach a son.” 

It was then that Nyneve walked back; she was smiling despite the exhaustion she still felt. It stopped Lan’s heart every time he saw her, she had lost hair in her test for the shawl but kept it short according to Malkieri custom. “A kingdom must know their queen is  _ theirs _ .” she had said when Lan asked if she was going to grow it out. He missed her braid sometimes, but this- he loved her all the more for doing this for him, for their kingdom, small as it might be. 

“Rand Al’Thor, when you were ten you Mat, and Perrin all got in trouble for stealing apples, what punishment were you given?”

Rand pushed himself up on his elbows, Lan would not tell his wife this was not necessary, in part because he wanted to know the answer, but he knew, his wife must also be sure they were not putting their family in danger. 

Rand’s face went bright red, Lan knew that was more than enough to assure himself that this was Rand. Still, the man answered, “You took us each over your knee, and then we had t work for the debt we owed because of the apples.” 

“The last Belltine in the two rivers, what was it Mat had caught.” Rand shook his head, a smile on his face this time. 

“A badger, it’s always a badger Nyneve. But you should know calling him that, repeatedly to the wrong people might get you poisoned.” 

“That’s more than enough confirmation, no one could be a woolheaded as you Rand.” She took the few quick steps to the bed and pulled Rand into a hug. “Oh Rand, where have you been hiding?”

He wrapped his arms around her gently, almost as if he was sure he would break her as if he thought he was dangerous after all these years. “Here and there, I like being able to stay out of things now Nyneve. I see my wives and my children often enough, but- I’ve stayed out of politics, out of the way of the world.” 

Nyneve shook her head but she was smiling. “Who knows?” 

“My wives, and now you two, I would suspect Moiraine knows. And Cadsuane I believe knows. But- Lan here puzzled it out quickly enough, I would not be surprised if others who were there had as well.” 

“But not Mat and Perrin?” 

“I thought that perhaps now was the time to tell them but- I do not think so.” 

Lan had let this exchange happen quietly, he was not part of it, not truly. Nyneve and Rand shared a home they would never return to, shared memories of that home that did not hold true anymore. The Two Rivers were large enough, productive enough, that they might one day challenge to be their own kingdom. No longer the small loosely connected village the two in front of him remembered.

At Rand’s comment though Lan could not hold himself back. “You don’t think they would want to know?” 

“Lan, I tired and I was nearly killed, I thought surely I would die. The time is not right, I’m not sure it ever will be. I drug my best friends though so much, perhaps I am supposed to leave them alone now.” 

Lan wanted to argue but heard Nyneve whisper “the wheel weaves as the wheel wills” and perhaps that was a lesson Rand had learned better than Lan ever had, despite all his years as a Warder. 

“Then stay here and rest, we’ll get you your own room, your secret is safe with us Rand.” 

Rand did stay to rest, and he regained his strength quickly. He seemed comfortable, spending time with almost everyone. He used the name Tam, responded to it like that was his name. And maybe, maybe it was now, perhaps Rand truly was dead. But no- there were hints of the child Lan had rescued from the two rivers, despite how old he was now, he must have been almost as old as Lan was when the two first met, he played pranks with some of the younger men. And he was found on the training ground every day with Lan and his sons. 

“Father says you’re one of the best swordsmen he ever knew, did you fight in the last battle?” 

“Matrim,” 

“You  _ never _ talk about it.” The boy whined, and Lan wondered if the young boy could ever understand  _ why _ . 

Rand, Tam? Shook his head smiling “It’s okay Lan.” he turned to the younger boy, a sad smile on his face. “I did, unfortunately, I did not get to fight beside your father, perhaps I would have done better with him by my side.” 

“Did you know the Dragon Reborn?” Lan had almost expected questions of his youngest son, Bulin however, Lan thought had been taught better. 

“Son, I don’t think-” 

Rand laughed, and it  _ was _ Rand, Lan couldn’t think of him as anyone else despite what he might say. 

“It’s alright Lan, what are visitors for if not telling stories?” He smiled at Bulin this time, Light when had his son gotten so tall? Nearly as tall as he and Rand. “I knew the Dragon Reborn, perhaps for the worst on my part, I’ll tell you boys all about him at dinner.” 

The boys nodded excited, so Lan sent them off to get cleaned up before turning to Rand. 

“You don’t have to.” 

“I want to Lan, The Stone of Tear should be a good enough story. Or, perhaps I was in Caemlyn when the man that would become the Dragon Reborn fell into a garden and met the princess.” 

Lan laughed and shook his head “The second one will give you away, Bulin is smart and I think Matrim might be smarter, and Egwene, These kids Rand, stick to the Stone.” Rand nodded smiling. 

The kids did love the story, though Lan found it odd to hear him tell it as if he was not the dragon reborn as if he had just seen it happen. He weaved a tale that rivaled a gleeman. 

“Everyone knows that story, what about something no one knows?” Mat asked when the story was over, Bulin was still grinning, Egwene looking over at her mother as if not sure this man was telling the truth. 

“Did you know he spent time as an apprentice glee man?” The children’s eyes lit up and Lan smiled softly.  _ This _ was the kind of story the children would want to hear, though Lan wasn’t sure how Rand would get away with telling it without giving himself away. 

“He told me all about it, here’s how he told it.” 

It was clear, to Lan at least, that Rand  _ had _ spent time as a glee man’s apprentice, he was good at telling the story, even if most of the time they weren’t with a glee man at all. The story involved very few sword fights, but both boys were engrossed in it as if the Dragon might draw his sword at any moment. Lan could laugh at that, Rand probably would have hurt himself more than anyone else if he had tried at that point. 

“Could the channel yet?” Mat asked and Lan watched as Rand’s face fell. 

“I don’t remember, maybe, just a little I’m not sure.” He looked troubled, but shook his head and smiled at Mat. “He didn’t need to, not yet. He wouldn’t need to until  _ after _ your father taught him how to wield a sword.” 

All three children turned to look at Lan, surprise on their faces. “You didn’t tell us you  _ taught _ The Dragon Reborn how to wield a sword.” Lan wanted to glare at Rand. 

“I think it’s bedtime.” Lan thanked the light for Nyneve, as she sent the kids off to bed, following them out of the room. 

“Why would you tell them that?” It was not that Lan had hidden that from his children, he had just never seen the merit of his children knowing that, nor that he had killed Demandred. There were more important things that his children learn from him. 

“I did not know you had not told them, besides, every child believes their father is a man who could kill one of the forsaken, or teach the bloody Dragon reborn how to keep from killing himself when he drew his sword. Very few children though, know that to be the truth.” 

Lan shook his head. “I don’t want them to turn into me, I don’t want Bulin to grow up like me. I don’t want them to idolize me Rand.” 

“I told you the last time we saw each other, Elayne taught me how to rule, but you Lan, you taught me how to stand.” Lan shook his head and watched Rand sigh. “You’re a good man Lan, perhaps one of the best men I’ve ever met. Your children deserve to know you Lan.” 

Lan knew a losing argument when he heard one, he knew he would talk to his wife about this, stay up worrying about it. He’d talk to Rand about it again in the morning, maybe after a night of Thought Lan would have more to say. 

When he woke up though, on his side table was a note, five small parcels. “Not as grand as last time, but perhaps this isn’t truly goodbye.” when Lan asked around it turned out Rand had left as soon as he could get a gateway out, he’d taken one to Cairhien but rand doubted he was still there, he would not want to be found, he’d worked hard all these years to stay hidden. 

The kids were just as upset at Rand’s leaving as Lan and Nyneve were. But that night, when Bulin and Mat came to Lan asking about teaching the Dragon Reborn the sword he sighed and picked up his pipe, Rand had left behind Two Rivers Tabac, maybe he  _ did _ make it home sometimes. “How about I tell you about the end of the final battle?” The boy’s eyes lit up and Lan wondered if his daughter ought to be here too. It is not that he thought a girl should not hear these stories, but she was just  _ five _ when she was older she’d be told. And they would all learn about their mother’s part in cleansing saidin, as well as, well everything. Rand was right, their children ought to know.


End file.
